This week we said goodbye to Gramma Winnie Cragg. She would have been 94 years old this April, and she embodied a class of women reminiscent of the lovely Audrey Hepburn. While saddened by the loss and idea that she will no longer be gracing us with her sweetness, we celebrate a life spanning two continents, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Her story was an incredible one before she travelled to Canada from England after WWII. But her experiences never dampened her spirits.

Her sharp wit (lucid until the end!) and easily accommodating demeanor leaves us a legacy with which to aspire to. One of her nieces said at her funeral that "Winnie could have written the book on how to make friends." It's so true. She was always one to ask about what was going on in everyone else's life. She would only talk about herself if she was asked questions. Otherwise, she was all about making sure other people in the room felt they were acknowledged and made to feel welcome. In fact, she and her husband, the late Grampa Leslie Cragg, were the first in my husband's family to make me feel truly welcome nearly 20 years ago. They instantly made me feel as though I mattered, asking me questions about my travels, family, culture, interests, education, etc. They were never meddling questions. On the contrary, they made me feel as though I was extraordinary. They found commonalities and connected with me. They bravely held our pre-wedding reception at their home, and it was full of hearty laughter, music, and love.

Gramma has me thinking of all that made her classy. It was more than making sure she had her hair done regularly. She had it done weekly, in fact, and made sure to have a head covering to keep it from various environmental elements. She even had it done the week before she passed away! I discovered last night from my husband and brother-in-law that she taped her hair at night to keep it in place! I didn't even know that was a "thing." Taping hair!

The modest care she took in herself was admirable, and she has me thinking about my own grooming techniques...or lack thereof. Sure, I'm clean. I eat well and exercise. But I'm usually clad in worn out shoes, tousled hair either up in a careless bun or loose in a frizzy maze, t-shirts and jeans or cargo pants, over-sized sweaters, unpolished nails...I always go for comfort and assume that anything other than what I'm used to would be less than comfortable. But where did I get that idea? It's not true at all. Sure, some people dress up and are obviously uncomfortable, tugging at too-tight dresses and pulling up too-low pants. But Gramma brought an ease to it. Come to think of it, my mother has that same classy look, always looking amazing in all that she dons. Alas, that is a blog for another day...

So, here I am on International Women's Day and thinking about the women in my life, both past and present, who epitomize grace and true beauty. Gramma was a woman of grace and class, in mannerisms and character. Because of her, I will remember to care a bit more about the whole package (exterior as well as interior). She was an incredible woman, and after 94 years, she is a symbol of how we should cherish triumphs rather than wallow in defeats.

Goodbye, Gramma. We all take comfort that you are resting in peace with your beloved.

I digress...

Once upon a time, there was a girl who thought technology was going to be the demise of human-kind. She scoffed at people (including her husband) who would check their phones incessantly. It was deemed unconscionable to even LOOK at a phone while in anyone else's presence. She hesitated and died a little inside when her husband bought her an e-reader one Christmas ("Oh No!" she thought. "How can this relationship work when he's one of THEM?!?"). 

Then, one day, she foolishly broke her wrist right before a trip to England. After nearly 8 months of barely using her e-reader, she found she could carry innumerable books with her abroad while not breaking a sweat! This made her a little feverish with glee...but no one needed to know THAT tidbit of information...

While abroad, her archaic phone became virtually non-functional. So, upon arriving back home, she decided she would upgrade to a smart phone. But she wouldn't abuse it. In fact, she would be stoic and discrete to the point that people wouldn't even KNOW she had a smart phone! After all, people had just recently discovered she had an e-reader! Unbeknownst to them, she was falling in love with it...but no one needed to know THAT tidbit of information, either.

Well, imagine what happened when she discovered all the functions of the "smart" phone! At first, the idea of using it as an actual computer to figure things out just plain scared her. Check email, weather, and even the bus schedule? What?!? And what was this business of chirping and linking?? All very foreign concepts to her.

Until...ding...what's that? I know when I get an email automatically!?! And bzzz...what's that? I can get an alert when I'm "tagged?" Uh oh...did I say, "I"?? I meant "she"!! 

No matter, this is completely fictional...

So, as I type this on my laptop with my newer, pocket-sized e-reader (interestingly enough, in my pocket) and my precious phone to my right, I don't see myself as having succumb. I'm not weak, really, I'm not! I can  be plugged in and still pay attention to you. 

Oh, hold on a minute, I've got a message...

When I'm uber busy, there is no question as to what needs to get done, and those things GET done! When I suddenly have time, I get so lost in the possibilities that if I don't act quickly, the time has disappeared into the ether and I feel guilty. So, this morning when I had that foreboding sense that I was going to "lose" it (time), I took action! And I'm so grateful that I did. My journey led me to a peaceful, self-reflective day that still has me smiling.

Admittedly, my first stop was a sinful treat that happens maybe twice a year--Cafe Crepe on Queen West in Toronto. I had a fantastic, savoury crepe with real maple syrup (they really DO go well together!), accompanied by a Nutella latte...yes, to my fellow nutritionists...no typo...and no apology...

Enjoying every morsel of crepe while reading Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall), I realized I was the only one in the crowded restaurant seated alone. This doesn't bother me. While I love eating out with family and friends, I'm also surrounded by people throughout my regular day, and sometimes it feels good to sit alone so I can make sure my voice is still present in my head.  It's easy to get lost in the chatter, so regrouping is definitely necessary for my own sanity.

Once that leg of my day was done, I headed to the Art Gallery of Ontario. I LOVE the AGO. In fact, I have  a long-standing love affair with the AGO. When I was in school, I used to volunteer in their bookstore. Afterwards, throughout university, I had a student membership and would visit frequently, often just choosing a different section of the gallery to sit in with my notebook (writing poems to accompany some works...not sketching...no talent there!) while gazing at whatever my mood led me towards. I even did an internship there while studying Book and Magazine Publishing, editing and proofreading various things. The odd thing is that I'm not an art history major or even remotely talented in a way that most people drawn to galleries are. I'm just a lover of beauty and stories, and my GOODNESS the AGO is filled with both.

So, upon arrival there today, a sense of calm settled over me, and as I checked my coat in, the volunteer there saw the picture of my cat on my phone. She said she also had a cat, and when I asked what its name was, she answered Cyprus! My full-on grin prompted her to ask why that was strange. I told her that was where my family was from, and whether she had any connection to the country. She said no... that it was just a beautiful name that she'd always loved how it sounded. Familiarity always oozes from that place. A great way to start the next phase of my afternoon!

I went and saw a few of my faves to start with: Otto Dix's Dr. Heinrich Stadelmann (I'm always mesmerized by his creepy eyes depicting the horrifying, emotional reality post-WWI), Henry Moore's gallery of gorgeous statues, Barbara Hepworth's Mother and Child, to name barely any! But stumbling upon Patti Smith's photography exhibit was elating. I really knew next to nothing about her, but I feel that she completely gives all of herself to her photographs, and they had me hypnotized. Her relationship with her surroundings makes me believe that she is truly connected to all that she photographs. I was witnessing the love she felt for her mentors and friends through her work. I heard people commenting aloud and to themselves while passing various selections (one man chuckled in admiration, "Hermann Hesse's Typewriter! Huh!"). Of course, I couldn't help but think that this must be an artist's greatest form of flattery--whether with the written word, sculpture, photograph, or any type of artwork--to stir emotions in people as she was is just so very cool.

After the Patti Smith collection, I came across the Michael Snow exhibit (a modern, industrial installation that was unique in and of itself), and I started chatting with one of the security guards. We got into an earnest conversation about what a shame it is that galleries aren't accessible to a lot of people in our city. They're expensive! I told him I usually go to the gallery on Wednesday nights (free), and he said, "But it's so busy!" It is, but it's most accessible at that time. 

Art has so much more to offer than just pretty pictures and photos. It shouldn't be an elitist luxury. Art is an ongoing statement of life, emotion, and the world's history. It connects people in its ability to "speak" in new and unusual ways. It tells stories, enrages, delights, and awes. Sometimes it bores. But that's the great thing! It's like music--there are so many forms of it and limitless ways of expressing oneself that different kinds speak to different personalities and experiences. Everyone SHOULDN'T love EVERYTHING. People gravitate towards what moves them. That's the beauty.

So, as my day draws to a wonderful close, I feel lucky to have spent it rejuvenating my heart and soul. I spent it feeling united with my surroundings, and I'm better for it. Learning something new is always a good way to spend some time. There are people who feel that they need to be busy all the time, feeling pressure to always be ON, but without these moments of solitude and immersion in something other than what NEEDS to be done, then we can get lost in other people's realities.

After a day of reconnecting with myself, and with a great sigh of contentment, I feel fully prepared and happy to re-enter the world of need...until the next opportunity for complete and utter selfish me-time occurs...maybe accompanied by another crepe, if the fates allow...